Gazette 20080410

Thursday, April 10, 2008 — Late last night the Cinnamon Toast Crunch mystery came to an unusual close.

After an 8-week investigation the cereal was located in what appeared to be an abandoned outbuilding belonging to prominent Millsberry citizen and retired science teacher Ellsworth Crump.

Authorities responded to a tip that puffs of cinnamon and sugar were escaping the windows and chimney of a shack in Ravenwood, which ultimately lead them to Crump and the missing boxes of Cinnamon Toast Crunch cereal.

Also found at the shack were Crump's niece Violet Crump, and longtime friend Rupert Nickers.

Inspector Nelson arrived on the scene shortly after local authorities. He immediately conducted a fingerprint analysis of the trio and found their prints to be perfect matches of the fingerprints discovered around Millsberry.

Upon further investigation, authorities happened to discover something else very crunchy.

When Millsberry Police Chief Arthur Crow confronted the three with allegations of stealing all the Cinnamon Toast Crunch cereal they appeared confused and bewildered. Crump replied by saying, "But we're just doing testing. We love Cinnamon Toast Crunch! The whole point of our testing was to figure out what makes it so great." Nickers added in, "Yeah! We had no idea we took all of it."

After further questioning it was determined that Crump, Ruppert and Miss Violet did not purposely abduct or withhold all of the Cinnamon Toast Crunch from Millsberry citizens. The reason for its disappearance was strictly a misunderstanding and a mistake.

During questioning Violet came forward to explain the situation.

"Well you see, Uncle Ellsworth has always enjoyed Cinnamon Toast Crunch cereal," said Voilet. "In fact, he loves it almost as much as he loves his science experiments. And when he found out that I am also a fan of Cinnamon Toast Crunch he took the opportunity to use it to teach me about science. Together we were working to discover what makes Cinnamon Toast Crunch so great."

Ellsworth added, "Yes, what she says is true. And the reason we needed so much is that we ate as much as we tested." Inspector Nelson, Police Chief Crow and the other officers couldn't help but laugh at this discovery.

"So it seems that what we have is a cinnamon and sugar mix up, and not a real mystery," concluded Inspector Nelson. "But what about the fingerprints?"

"Those are the result of the cinnamon and sugar that are on every piece," confessed Nickers. "Working with Cinnamon Toast Crunch cereal all day in the lab left the yummy coating on our fingers, and I guess we didn't do a very good job washing it off."

As the case drew to its close one final discovery was made.

"I just thought of something," Violet exclaimed. "It's the cinnamon and sugar taste you can see that makes Cinnamon Toast Crunch cereal so great! It's so obvious now! Everyone in town uncovered the answer before we did, Uncle; it was in our fingerprints. The same cinnamon and sugar taste you can see is what made our fingerprints visible. Wow!"

At the conclusion of the investigation Inspector Nelson took the opportunity to thank the citizens of Millsberry for their hard work. "It really paid off. We can all go back to enjoying our Cinnamon Toast Crunch cereal, and now we know what makes it so great thanks to Ellsworth, Rupert and Violet."


Thursday, April 10, 2008 — Considering your impact on the environment is something that may not cross your mind that often. There are so many things to think about and so many things that can be done to help point us all in the right direction. It all begins with asking yourself some very simple questions: Do you recycle? Do you turn the light off when you leave a room? Are you aware of your impact on the environment? The steps you can take are easy. Earth Day is coming up. Be on the lookout for some simple, yet powerful ways to improve the environment.

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